Trannyfish Found, Immediately Discriminated Against

Okay, it’s actually hermaphroditic fish, as it turns out.  Male bass with “female genital characteristics” (they apparently carry eggs) are populating the Potomac.

The EPA was taking a “free to be you and me” attitude on these alternatively-gendered fish (kudos to them for embracing seabass regardless of gender).  The US Geological Survey, however, is less welcoming.  It thinks these fish are akin to the three-eyed fellow who hops out of the nuclear cooling bath in the Simpsons montage — i.e., the hellspawn of pollution and a harbinger of toxic death for us all. 

Okay, the EPA wasn’t being open-minded about gender issues, actually.  It’s just having trouble identifying which pollutant is responsible (but they’re leaning toward estrogen from birth control pills).  It’s been looking for 10 years, but given how generous the Bush administration is with EPA funding, it’s likely you should just avoid Potomac Smallmouth for– well, basically forever. 

Same goes for water, actually, if you’re in the DC area, since it’s the water quality that’s the problem.


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