Leroy Was a Young Rhino With a Crushing Secret

In the news (other than cars):

  • Rhino sterility (on the male side — we blame it on tight jeans) is making it so that there’s no point in even dropping by the rhinoceros drug store anymore.
  • Speaking of, ahem, disposables, a Russian city just found out it needs a few billion bucks worth of Olympic facilities. (That luge course is gonna draw how many tourists? In a resort town? On a lake?) So naturally they pointed straight at the old-growth forest and said, “put it there!” Had this problem in Athens, where the rowing course delivered a 1-2 punch of destroying ancient historical sites AND a sensitive coastline. The kicker: that rowing site looks like a set painting from the end of Logan’s Run now.
  • Riffing on a theme, how many “rhino horn” jokes have popped into your head? Over/under is 2.5.
  • Swedes are apparently all “Far-North SiyEED! what WHAT!” proud, and you can see it in their Volvos and Saabs — which, it turns out, are gas guzzlers and global warming terrors. How could Euro companies, who used to make utilitarian vehicles, succumb to such largesse and gratuitous consumption? Oh, right, they’re owned by Ford and GM now. (Haterade sip.)
  • Friends of ours had a Volvo wagon — they said it drank gas like a thirsty clydesdale on a hot day. And that was without a lot of stop-start driving. Main problem: they roll like an Abrams tank, they’re so heavy.
  • Damn! We’re back on cars again. Okay, we quit. Right now.
  • India’s taking a half-a-billion flyer on the lottery ticket called cheap nuclear fusion, hoping some future tech will give it a way to industrialize without ravenously burning through all the coal and oil it can get its hands on. They’re hoping it’ll be online by 2040, which is about when GM will finally announce it’s never going to make a Chevy Volt. (We can’t stay away, and that counts as haterade sip #2.)

Political stuff is up next!


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